Random Affection in the Bra Department
by Demus
Summary: When dragged to do some discount shopping in a Muggle department store, Sirius ad Remus despair of surviving the experience. Thank goodness for random affection. Rated for a little cursing and fluffy leaping on people slash.


This little ficlet was inspired by a journey of discovery taken by the lovely LadyBush and I when we were dragged, kicking and screaming, through the underwear department of a department store in Preston, Lancashire. Pity us.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and I apologise to T.J. Hughes. You're not that bad.

Hooray for fluffy slash!

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Remus groaned in despair and buried his head in Sirius' shoulder, feeling the taller boy wrap an arm around him in comfort. Why them? Why here? Why now? What past actions of his could possibly warrant this…torture? Why, on their only free day of the half-term holiday, were they forced to wade through the pit of ultimate misery known as a department store?

James trotted up to the two of them, breathless with excitement, his bright blue eyes shining. In his arms he was carrying a huge bundle of assorted items, each of which had a red 'reduced price' mark on the label. "Hey lads, Lily and I just spotted the best offers over in the clothes section! I can't believe we haven't come here before!" With that the other fifth-year merrily skipped off.

Remus turned his head so he could see where he was going, leaving it rested on his boyfriend's shoulder as they wearily followed their enthusiastic friend through the shelves and racks of miscellaneous crap. "Are we sure he's actually a bloke?" he whispered to Sirius.

"Nobody knows," the black-haired boy replied. "But Lily thinks he's a godsend. A young male wizard who likes to shop for bargains in Muggle shops."

"Tell me again," Remus said, wrapping a reciprocal arm around him, twining his fingers into the soft material of Sirius' dark blue jacket. "Why are we here?"

"Because Wormtail was ill and Prongs has no other friends."

"Is it surprising? I've heard of secret passions, but this is ridiculous. And Lily's just as bad." Remus sighed. "Are we two the only sane ones left in this crazy world? Is it just you and me, Padfoot?"

Sirius grinned at the werewolf's apathy, carefully steering him around a small group of little old ladies arguing over a hideous swamp-green jumper- price reduced, obviously. He tightened his arm around Remus' lithe waist, revelling in the way the smaller boy obligingly shifted closer to him. Their relationship had started at the end of their second year at school, and Sirius couldn't be happier.

Its existence hadn't stopped hordes of girls and boys halting him in corridors with flirtation utmost in their minds, but even that annoyance was worth the predatory gleam that came into Remus' eyes as the tawny-haired boy stepped forwards and proclaimed "He's mine. Back off." In Sirius' mind being the mate of a possessive werewolf gave him love and protection he could only ever have dreamed about.

Remus suddenly stopped and stood on tiptoe, trying to peer over the various displays that surrounded them. "Siri, where's Prongs? I hope he hasn't drowned in a pile of rubbish clothes. All we'll ever find is his hand, desperately reaching up to quest for air, and better taste."

Sirius chuckled and reluctantly disentangled himself from Remus to take advantage of his height in the search for their missing friend. "I can't see him, Moony. I think you might be right about that drowning in clothes thing- but now he's dragged Lily in with him. I can't see either of them."

Remus groaned again. "Great. Marooned in T. J. Hughes. Could it get any worse?"

Sirius grinned, pulling the tawny-haired boy back towards him, ignoring the strange looks he was given by the other occupants of the store. "Well, at least they'll die happy. Locked in an eternal embrace, a loving bond that not even death could break." He sighed poetically and raised a hand to wipe an imaginary tear from his cheek.

Remus snorted and thumped him. "However romantic that thought is, we still have to find them. Prongs nicked the keys to your motorcycle when we came in."

He was suddenly being pulled along at breakneck speed as Sirius started to duck and dodge his way through the displays, swearing under his breath every time he knocked something onto the floor and cursing all cocky Potters.

"Really dear," Remus said as mildly as a person can when an irate wizard is hauling them along. A particularly nasty phrase caught his ear. "I'm not sure that's physically possible, you know."

Sirius halted and growled in frustration, sounding more like his canine counterpart. "Damn it, where is he!"

"Don't you mean, damn it where are we?" Remus said, staring with wide eyes at the rows and rows of women's lingerie that surrounded them. "Padfoot, how is that even in a mad rage you can steer us to the bra department?"

Sirius gulped as he caught sight of the frilly monstrosities. "Have we somehow ended up on another planet?" Mesmerised, he lifted what looked like a huge satiny pink whale net off its hanger. "Were these things designed in the eighteen hundreds?"

Remus felt his cheeks start to redden. "Siri! Put that back!"

He was obeyed with alacrity as Sirius distastefully flung the thing back onto the rack and backed away, shuddering. He smiled at his mate and studied him fondly as he stood there, taking in his long, perfectly groomed black hair, his beautiful 'come hither' eyes, his appreciatively tight black leather trousers…okay, now he was starting to drool.

Sirius glanced at the entranced werewolf and smiled back. It seemed his paramour had forgotten about their search for their psychologically disturbed friends. He'd seen that stare before- it clearly said 'I think I might jump on you any minute now'. Not that Sirius would complain. And he didn't when Remus leapt towards him and pinned him to the floor.

The normally shy werewolf fixed an amberfire gaze on him, staring deep into his own eyes. Sirius could almost feel his very thoughts being read and re-read as Remus leaned down and captured his lips in a kiss laced with restrained passion. Sirius simply let the feeling wash over him, his arms coming up to wrap around Remus' slight form. The werewolf pulled back and smiled a love-drunk smile at him. Sirius let out a dog-like whine in protest, but Remus shook his head and clambered off him.

Sirius growled again, this time with a completely different frustration. He stood and directed a smouldering glare at Remus, who laughed out loud and winked at him, before turning and running off, negotiating his way around the cumbersome racks with surprising agility and speed. Sirius smiled delightedly at this new game and gave chase, his mind full of images of similar chases through a moonlit Forbidden Forest, baying a perfectly rounded full moon as a tawny wolf's tail disappeared from the sight of a big black dog.

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Please R&R!


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